I’ve been pondering as I get older and more responsibilities come my way, that my world is much bigger right now, than it has ever been.
When I was 12 years old, church was my whole world. My responsibilities were schoolwork, housework, and serving in various areas at church. I think I babysat sometimes as well. I look back at that time, and I think about how undone I would be left if that’s where it stopped. I wouldn’t be half of the me that I am now. We must thank God for growth, yeah?
I have to remind myself constantly, that I had so much to learn as a 12 year old. That’s why I went through the trials and challenges that I went through. That’s why I walked the rode that I walked to get to where I stand. And I have so much to learn now. The same holds true where ever we are. I want to embrace everything that I have to learn. I want to see it before me like a mysterious forest that I get to brave. In a way, it’s exactly like that. It’s a place that I’ve never been before and I am armed with nothing but the paths that I have already walked and my faith in God. This is what I think about when my breath catches and I’m tempted to freak out. About everything. About my young-ness, about how I feel lost and dizzy when I think about my life. How unprepared I am to do everything that God has asked me to do. How my friends are all growing and moving on too. How it’s all new and scary.
It definitely humbles me to think about how incapable to step up to the plate. We need God so much, you guys. I need Him so much.
I guess that’s all I have to say here, as I keep pressing on. Trying to handle everything. Loving it. Not trusting myself to do this job, but knowing that obedience is the best option. Have a good week, guys.