This new year, my resolution was to be more intentional with my time, and my relationships. As we approach the half way point this year, I’ve been reflecting on whether I have grown there or not.
As in anything else, it’s definitely a process to focus in on certain habits and quite often change is painful. And I think the most prominent change has been convictions concerning when I’m being unnecessarily lazy, or disinterested in things that could otherwise be beneficial or helpful to others. I have been more convicted in those areas, leading to more action. The growth is slow, but it’s there. I’ve slowly been becoming a bit more organized and level-headed when it comes to accomplishing tasks. It’s interesting to see myself begin to take things seriously.
I’ve always been an introspective person, and I think when I see something in myself that I dislike, I can very easily become consumed in “fixing it” when it’s not something I can do. I can’t become a better person in the sense I want to be, because I’m fallen, I am sinful and I rely solely on the Holy Spirit to sanctify me. It’s. a. process. I can’t say this enough. I think that there is a lot of stress when it comes to wondering if you’ll ever be good enough. But when I resolved to become more intentional, it’s less of a resolve for me to climb up to a better me, and more of a cry to God to make me more whole, more like Him, and to help my Spirit perceive when I could be more intentional, to lead me in that direction. And He is faithful, and always full of grace.
So I guess you could say that I’ve grown. Even if it’s not as fast or epic as my human pride would like, I am thankful for a God who makes me more, well, me-while still in the process of drawing me closer to Him. It’s an interesting thought that the further you are from Him, the less yourself you become and the more of everyone else you adopt. But I love it. And with that, It’s Friday. Let’s get at some weekending.